Sunday, December 26, 2010

Could you imagine?

So Baby Sister is eleven months old.  And here's the shocker of the week - in this month's newsletter I get from some baby website with tips on development and "what to feed your baby at this stage" kind of content they started talking about having another one.  Are you kidding me?!? 

Another baby?  NOW?

I can barely keep my wits coping with my current baby who is becoming mobile!  We still have a hard time going out because of babysitting options not to mention that I just BARELY feel like my body is back to mine again.  Who in their right mind would dream about starting over and going back to being exhausted day and night, transitioning into being big as a whale and completely incapable of keeping up with a toddler, ending with bringing another one home to add to the chaos?


Add that I am weeks away from turning thirty-nine (yes, that's knocking on forty's door thank you very much) to the fact I don't think I have the energy or desire to add another child to our little family right now and you've got the worst combination.  The hardest part is that Hubby really longs for a boy.  A son to coach football and take fishing; another shot of testosterone to balance out the estrogen fest we currently have going on, not to mention carrying on his family name.  And while in some random moments of insanity I think it might be nice to have a son I quickly start thinking of all the realistic things that scream NO FUCKING WAY!  Perhaps if we hadn't waited so long to decide we wanted more than one kid we might have time and the energy to do this dance all over again.  But that's not how we did it.  There's way too much pressure to make a crazy snap judgment about another kid just because I'm getting older.  Lots of women have kids later in life, right?

My mind still boggles at the thought of people with kids two years apart (OR LESS!) - of which there are plenty around.  I have total respect for them but know there is no way I could do that myself.  Who knows, maybe when I'm 45 if we still think we want another one I'll hop on the "advanced maternal age" bandwagon again in a moment of insanity... but I seriously doubt it.

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