Weeks 18 & 19 - where did my waist go?

Holy growing uterus, batman!  I look more and more pregnant everyday and really, that's the only thing there is to report for the last two weeks.  I'm pretty irritated that the super comfy "below the belly" maternity pants that felt great before I had a baby bump the size of a soccer ball now cut me in all the wrong places.  I actually broke out the one pair of pants that I kept from my previous pregnancy because they were simple and basic black and didn't have the icky front panel of stretchy material in them.  They do, however, have a super nice waistband that goes over my belly and rests up where there's no problem for elastic to make.  Is it insane to want to find THOSE kind of pants again?  I'm sure not a fan of the new "hidden belly" pants that are all the rage!  I caught a glimpse of myself from the side angle today and about shit my pants!  I guess viewing straight on in my bathroom mirror I can still pretend like I have a figure since my belly sticks out front and I can still see waist on either side.  BUT from the side?  Whoa nelly...  THAT'S A BIG ASS BELLY!

What is IN that big ass belly is starting to kick me at regular intervals and sometimes even tells me when she is unhappy at what I ate.  Ok, I have no idea of the accuracy of that statement but my hypothesis holds true since she seems to be way more active when I eat something spicy - say 30 or so minutes after when the digestion process is in full swing.  I'm looking forward to the months where the internal acrobatics can be felt by her daddy and her big sister....  I'm craving everything bad for me - like donuts and candy - and blame all of it on the baby.  There's now a running joke at work that the baby will have a list of demands which it needs met in order to get whatever the team needs/wants in the coming months.  Not sure if anyone really buys it but it is fun to hear the banter.

Next big milestone is next Wednesday when we have the 20-week ultrasound scheduled...  Stay tuned!  Will the baby's parts still be girl parts or did her parents in fact get to impatient and go too early?  And will the pesky "short" cervix prove long enough to let me do some more jogging or will I remain benched for the long haul?  Inquiring minds want to know!  In the meantime, I'm knitting up a storm and can't seem to get enough of it.  I guess the nesting phase has officially begun!

Book List Archive 2008

A little "house-cleaning" is in order... Chalk it up to "nesting" if you will.  BUT, it must be done!  I am a pack-rat at heart and merely taking off last year's books from the long (and very out-dated) list on the sidebar was just not going to do... So, here's the list of all the books I read (or were noteworthy enough to be listed on the blog) for historical reference.  And, of course if you're reading this it is a glimpse into the insane world that is my reading life!  Enjoy....

Swallowing Darkness, Laurel K Hamilton
The Choice, Nicholas Sparks (book club)
Someone Not Really Her Mother, Harriet Scott Chessman
The Screwtape Ltters, C.S. Lewis (book club)
Blood Noir (An Anita Blake Vampire Hunter Novel), Laurell K. Hamilton
Lover Enshrined, J.R. Ward
Breaking Dawn, Stephanie Meyer
In Defense of Food, Michael Pollan
Elantris, Brandon Sanderson (book club)
Letters for Emily, Camron Wright
Gone With the Wind, Margaret Mitchell (book club)
The Kite Runner, Khaled Hosseini
The Other Boleyn Girl, Phillipa Gregory (book club pick)
The Glass Castle, Jeannette Walls (book club)
Tall Grass, Sandra Dallas (book club)
The World Without Us, Alan Weisman
Jane Eyre, Charlotte Bronte (book club)
An Echo In the Darkness, Francine Rivers (book club)
A Voice in the Wind, Francine Rivers (book club)
Sex Signs

All quiet on the home front - week 17

Week 17 kind of slipped by me without much fanfare. It almost seemed anti-climactic this week with nothing major to worry about and nothing exciting to look forward to. Some of the highlights of the week were: We went camping and yes, I slept in a tent at 4 months pregnant much to the amazement of several of my friends. I actually got the hubby to measure where I want the desk from the baby's room to come to final resting AND admit that it is a good spot in the house for the new computer location - something he has been resisting for several months. (Now to get him to actually move furniture... but one step at a time, right?) We measured the ginormous window in the baby's room for curtains and/or blinds since the existing blinds are broken. And, I took our daughter shopping for the first baby items. She went crazy wanting to buy every cute baby outfit she laid eyes on and I had to steer her to the basics and the practical - like onesie's and pajamas and socks/booties. Together we got a solid start on things we will need to welcome her little sister home in a few months.

I went to the doctor for a routine appointment this week - where I heard the heartbeat and got the first measurement of my growing belly. My blood pressure is still extremely good and even on the low side (yipee!) and my baby bump is measuring exactly as big as it should be for my stage of the game. I begged my doctor to sneak me into the ultrasound room and tell me what I am having (of course I didn't mention it would be a second opinion!) and he laughed and looked at my chart and finally said the only thing he could do was to make my next appointment in only 3 weeks instead of the standard 4 weeks - putting me right after I hit the 20-week mark. I guess I'll take what I can get and really, I just want my trusted OB to tell me the girl parts are still the girl parts before I continue spending money on pink things a little baby boy wouldn't be caught dead in.

I'm still only 2 lbs heavier than I was at the end of my HCG regiment (and realistically that was the time of conception!) but my Dr says not to worry since I'm staying very active (although NOT running like I'd like to be and feel very up for every day!) and the baby is obviously thriving in there. Maybe the baby will just eat my ass and thighs and I won't gain more than a few pounds through the course of the entire pregnancy! Wouldn't that be a nice pipe dream...

Intuition Fails Me - Week 16

This week was marked by the much-anticipated milestone of fetus development being reached when we could finally find out the sex of the baby. I say 'could' because if we waited for the ultrasound at the doctor's office then we wouldn't know until the 22nd week because of the way my monthly appointments fall. The "official" ultrasound is to measure the development of the baby, the organs and all sorts of other medical things with the side note of "do you want to know the sex" thrown in at the end so it happens at about 20 weeks. I might have mentioned before that I am NOT a patient woman... There is no way I could have waited until 22 weeks!! We got super lucky and got an appointment for Monday evening squeezed in between the end of my work shift and the beginning of the hubby's night shift at the cheapest place we could find in the mall. Since we only needed the information and weren't interested in the video or keepsake package crap, I figured cheaper was better in this case. This entire pregnancy I have KNOWN, not just had a strong feeling, but KNOWN that I knew what we were having so this exercise was merely a formality so we could officially start shopping. Our daughter was so excited to be coming along because for weeks she had been asking how long before we could know (she's obviously inherited my impatient gene!) So, I'm lying there on the table, belly all coated in goo and the announcement comes. My reaction? "Are you sure?" You see, I KNEW this baby was a boy - had been calling it 'he' for weeks - had been knitting a masculine colored blanket - had been focusing on boy names - and how could it be right when he said "IT'S A GIRL!" How could my female intuition have failed me so entirely?

Yes, I was a bit disappointed. Our daughter was over the moon that she is getting a SISTER and couldn't stop jabbering while the hubby and I walked out of the mall behind her discussing our shared disappointment. I'm not having babies at 40 so we know this is our last one and we were both convinced we would get our idyllic dream of having one of each. Except now that had just been blown out of the water. My control-freak tried to convert the disappointment into something more tangible like disbelief siting the fact that I am "only" in my 16th week and the beginning at that so technically it could have been too early to tell and they just didn't want me to be able to come back later since we went for the cheap package. I even went as far as to tell my sister that we were NOT ready to start shopping until the diagnosis had been confirmed by my doctor. That lasted all of about 10 hours until the next day when my co-worker who has background in Radiology and a wife who is a sonographer took a look at the ultrasound photos and declared it a "textbook perfect example" of a baby girl's parts. Disbelief now back to disappointment which only lasted another couple of hours because then I started thinking of all the benefits and joys of having another girl. We already know we make gorgeous girls - one look at our daughter is enough to prove that. I will NEVER have to pretend to like or endure baseball that a son would be playing. The chances of either of our daughters wanting to follow in Daddy's footsteps of dirt bike racing are minimal. And I am already a total pro at raising girls! I also reminded myself that I had secretly been scared shitless thinking I wouldn't know what to do with a boy which now I wouldn't have to worry about. The hubby got over his disappointment much more quickly than I did and is content to have a houseful of women. (Poor guy, even the dog is female!) Part of me must have known there was no reason to withhold anything since we started spreading the "It's a Girl" news on the drive home from the mall. I got a kick out of my daughter wanting to be the one to tell everyone that she's getting a sister!

The rest of the week was a blur of sleep deprivation after attending a concert with my brothers and sisters and second-grade homework overload on top of preparing for the last camping trip of the season. Wednesday I heard from my doctor on the last blood draw testing from the genetic screening and my results were perfectly normal (as we expected them to be after the first round of tests). Luckily, I am still feeling very good with no complications. Sometimes I still have moments of disbelief that the whole thing is even real. I'm starting to feel more little flutters that my mind says logically must be the baby moving but it is so infrequent that it could be gas, too! My baby bump is rounding out nicely and hopefully soon I'll be VERY CLEARLY pregnant and not in that gray area of 'it could be weight gain or it could be a baby' that I'm quite certain every woman must go through regardless of her build before pregnancy. I have still not purchased a single item for the poor baby growing inside but there's still time and we are slowly gearing up and making necessary preparations to re-task the office/playroom into a nursery and obsessing over girl names rather than boy names. The most amazing thing? Welcome to the 5th MONTH of pregnancy! Where has the time gone already? Seriously!

Double Junior Whopper

Not many times are there 'blog worthy' moments that would warrant a post while at a concert... But there was one tonight! My sister picked me up from work early because we have General Admission lawn seating and wanted to get here before the gates opened. We hit the Burger King drive through instead of paying $10 for a slice of icky pizza. Nothing noteworthy about Burger King drive through, right? Until the following exchange took place:
"Can I get a double junior whopper?"
"Sorry, we don't have a double junior whopper"
"You have a junior whopper, right?"
"Yes"
"Well, can I get one of those and get an extra patty?"
-wait for it-
"Oh, you mean a double junior whopper?"
It was at that point we looked at each other and my smartass said "isn't that what you said?" We were cracking up so bad she could barely answer his question on whether she wanted cheese on that. I tell you, the IQ requirements are super low at Burger King these days!

OMG I just saw a guy with a mullet! (and is that marijuana I smell?!) Rock on!!
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Highs and Lows - Weeks 14 & 15

The last two weeks (weeks 14 and 15) were a crazy roller-coaster ride of highs and lows. First, we went in for the dreaded and fearful genetic screening tests. We decided to do it just for piece of mind but with all the talk of my "advanced maternal age" and statistics being thrown around and things they were testing for that could go wrong, I admit I was a little more worried than I probably should have been. Call us cold and callous but it was such a relief when both the hubby and I were honest with each other about the fact that if there were indications of severe problems, we would most likely choose to "interrupt the pregnancy" which I guess is the polite way of putting it. (As a woman, I am so glad I have that choice and it is still a legal option in the USA - even though I hope never to have to make it!)

The testing itself was also one of the highs because as part of the screening we got to have a pretty extensive ultrasound. We were able to take our 7-year old who LOVED seeing the baby and getting to be involved. It was so surreal to watch the monitor and see how feisty and lively the baby is - constantly moving around and waving at us - and yet not be able to feel one bit of it yet. At one point the baby had decided to flip over and wasn't cooperating so we took a break (OK, I had to pee so bad!) and my daughter became like this drill instructor reminding me that I was supposed to be pushing on my tummy to get the baby to move around. It was so much fun to have her there with us and feel like she was a part of the whole process. After a great discussion with tons of our questions answered by the genetic counselor, we headed home for the process of waiting - something which I don't do well AT ALL. This all happened on Monday and the counselor said (and I quote!) "if you don't hear from me with the results by next Monday, give me a call". I of course figured we would hear long before the following Monday....

In the meantime, the following Monday was time for Girl Scout camp which I had signed my daughter and I up for months before I was pregnant and included many hours of planned horseback riding activities. I called my doctor and asked for specific permission on whether it was safe for me to be riding or not (with fingers and toes crossed!) He gave the green light which kind of surprised me considering the "no running" rule but I said THANK YOU and didn't question it. Now "camp" implies somewhere in a rural setting - in this case, up a canyon about an hour from home. As we were driving and I was trying to navigate to a new location without the help of a male or GPS, in the back of my mind was "today is the day I get to call and bug them about my test results" with the plan to make that call when we arrived. HA! Little did I know we were driving into not only 3 days of horseback riding and camp songs, but 3 days WITH NO CELL PHONE OR INTERNET SERVICE. Of course because I am a good and responsible cell phone citizen and try not to make calls or text (or read Facebook updates) while driving, I didn't realize this until we were there and what turned out was miles from the nearest service area. I carried my phone with me the entire first day and every time we came to a new spot in camp, I would check to see if I had service there. It was so frustrating when there was never a single bar - especially when we were surrounded by flushing toilets, showers, and electrical lights. I got over it quickly and enjoyed camp but always in the back of my mind was the hope that there would be a voicemail with good news waiting for me when I was back in cellphone range.

Wednesday arrived and that afternoon we bid farewell to camp. I turned the cell phone back on and waited for the inevitable alerts of incoming voicemail and text messages I was certain to have missed to signal our official arrival back into civilization. Came they did - but not until we'd been on the road for more than 7 miles. (Good lord!) When we stopped for the slushy I'd promised my daughter, I checked the voicemail and NONE OF THEM WERE FROM THE GENETIC COUNSELOR. I was pissed... if there's one thing I hate it is people who do not meet their commitments. I don't care what you tell me to expect, I will expect them. Since I was told I would get a call LAST WEEK and that if I hadn't heard I could call on Monday and it was now WEDNESDAY and I still didn't know what the tests had shown, I was not a happy camper.

Several days and several phone messages later - each one I'm sure in a more bitchy tone than the previous one - finally resulted in the genetic counselor calling me on Friday. After all the anticipation and accompanying worry - which was exacerbated by the fact that I had signed up for a service through my insurance company where I was able to see the test results but still not know what they meant - we got the news that I am officially in the "low risk" category for genetic disorders. What a sigh of relief. We have one more step in the genetic testing processes which includes more blood work this coming week to measure the specific markers for 3 genetic disorders. Because I am low risk, it is merely a precaution and we expect everything to be smooth sailing from here.

The next big step is that this week I am far enough along to find out what the sex of the baby is. Totally frustrating is that there are three different places you can go and pay for an ultrasound to determine the sex of the baby and because we live in Utah, NONE OF THEM ARE OPEN ON SUNDAY. So, that didn't work out today and who knows when we will have time during the week to go before we leave for the last camping trip of the season on Friday. We are hoping to squeeze it in as early as tomorrow if we can get an appointment so stay tuned!!

Meanwhile, I am still feeling great, getting some of my appetite back for things other than cold cereal, and am finally able to walk without inner-thigh soreness from my horseback riding experience. I tell you, there is one good thing about being a horse girl, and it is toned thigh muscles! I am starting to be able to feel little movements from the baby and besides the very unmistakable baby bump it is the first thing that makes it in-your-face real for me. I still worry about how I will love another child as much as I do my first and how I will go back to sleepless nights and carrying a diaper bag and everything else that goes with having a newborn but man, am I excited!

My new favorite quote

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”

A very dear cousin sent me this quote today and said when she saw it she thought of me. Indeed it very accurately sums up my philosophy in life – well, that is if I had ever actually taken the time to DEFINE a philosophy for my life. More accurately perhaps is that it sums up how I act. I’m always going to be the friend who tells you exactly how I feel about {insert topic, whatever it is we happen to be talking about}. And I won’t lie if, yes, those pants make your ass look fat. If you don’t want to hear the honest answer, don’t ask the question. I don’t ever apologize for being outspoken and opinionated because I’ve learned exactly what this quote says – those people in my life who matter never mind that I say what I think and most of the time I am endeared to them more because of this quality. The converse is also true – those that do mind don’t matter to me because anyone not willing to allow others to have an opinion AND FREELY EXPRESS IT shouldn’t be allowed the same consideration to express their own, or in the very least have anyone give a shit what their opinion is since they won’t listen to what others have to say either. I can’t tell you how free and easy living life this way is or how uncomplicated life becomes. I pity those who care more about what other people say or think about them than just being themselves. What a time and energy waster that is! So, here’s to being who you are and saying what you feel – WHATEVER THAT IS – and thanks Yayma for the great quote!